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Friday, July 13, 2012

I am a C?



Halo haloooo!
Di siang hari yg asik buat males2an ini, gw mau bahas tentang hal yg berurusan sedikit sama... religion. Ehem ehem. So, I'm a Christian... tapii bisa dibilang hidup gw tidakk terlalu rohani2 amat. Yap gw aktif pelayanan di gereja tapi I know kerohanian gw masih perluuu waktu yg panjangggg untuk jadi lebih dewasa lagi. Anyway... gw gak tau kalo buat yg beragama lain tapi kalo di agama yg gw percayai ini, gw sering banget denger beberapa kalimat seperti ini...

"Ih, ya ampun padahal dia orang gereja loh tapi kok kayak gitu ya?"

"Gila, dia orang kristen tapi tingkah lakunya kayak gitu."

And so on...

Selama kurang lebih 12 tahun gw masuk agama Kristen, udah gak tau berapa kali gw denger orang2 di sekitar gw ngomong kayak gitu dan mungkin dari mulut gw sendiri pasti pernah keluar omongan seperti itu. Banyak yg bilang, semakin aktif lu involve dalam urusan gereja, hidup lo semakin diperhatiin orang2 di sekitar lo and semakin banyak pula orang yg mungkin ngejudge lo. Yes, it is true. Gw pernah di posisi menjadi orang yg nge-judge atau mungkin di posisi yg dihakimi sama orang2 di sekitar gue. 

Gw pernah bahas ini sama salah satu orang di gereja gue and somehow kita merasa this is unfair. Kenapa mesti bawa2 agama yg gw pegang? Kenapa mesti bawa2 kristen dan gereja? Kenapa gw gak boleh salah? Kenapa lo ngerasa lo doang yg boleh salah dan gue gak bisa do something wrong? But I know, keep asking why doesn't make people stop to judge your whole life. 

I still remember the time pas gw bener2 merenung banget tentang semuaaa tingkah laku gw selama ini sebagai seseorang yg ngakunya orang Kristen dan rajin pelayanan. One day, pas gw lagi practical class, gw bener2 lagi chaos sama pelajaran hari itu, pokoknya high tension lah ya. Kayaknya gw gak sadar kalo seharian itu gw swearing terus, mungkin hari itu gw lagi jadi Gordon Ramsay's daughter hahaha dannn akhirnya pas gw ngomong, "Ohhh... fuck, blablabla", salah satu temen gw tiba2 ngomong, "Hey, you are a Christian! Why u said that?!"

............................................................................................................... potato.

Gw rasanya cuma pengen ngomong potato. Lo bisa bayangin muka gw saat itu udah kayak maling jemuran kepergok sama yg punya rumah di siang bolong atau mungkin lo bisa bayangin muka gw kayak orang lagi ketawan makan upil di depan umum. Yeah I know perumpamaan gw agak hina tapi itu yg gw rasain pas gw ditegur sama temen gue and he's not a Christian. Rasa malu, mau marah, makin bete, semua campur aduk. I'm seriously waktu itu rasanya mau defense myself and gw benci bangetttttttt dia bawa2 agama gue! Tapi pas gw pulang rumah, gw jadi mikir lagi... 

Yes, I'm a Christian and I should know from the very first time that people around me pasti wanna see something positive that I could bring in environment yg kebanyakan non-Kristen. Yes, pasti orang2 non-Kristen diluar sana mau liat apa bedanya sih orang Kristen? Yes, hidup lo sooner or later pasti bakal diperhatiin banyak orang and YES like what Our Daily Bread said, "If you are a Christian, remember that people judge your Lord by you". To be honest, that's what make me stop thinking that all of these things are so unfair. 

Actually, masih banyak kejadian yg somehow make me a bit freak out about what other people think about me as a Christian? What my parents think about me as a Christian? Dan sedikit banyak gw menyadari kalo makna kehadiran gw jadi orang Kristen di lingkungan sepertinya harus lebih dipertanyakan. 

Well minggu2 ini gw banyak banget ngalamin event that people push my button and I just wanna do what I want (and yeah I did what  I want). Gw gak peduli sama agama gw, gw gak peduli sama betapa aktifnya gw di gereja, gw gak peduli mereka mau mikir apa, yg gw tau mereka sucks and gw cuma mau defense myself. But lucky, God still loves me and never give up to warn me through people around me. I know there's no coincidence in my life. 

Gw tau gw bisa aktif pelayanan di masa2 sekarang ini pasti bukan kebetulan. Gw tau gw bisa berhadapan sama orang2 yg push my button sekarang ini pasti bukan kebetulan cos ironically I just realised that one of them is the reflection of myself. Gw harusnya gak marah in the first place sama orang itu tapi mestinya gw malu and thank to God udah ijinin everything happened buat menegur gw. Hmmm I know now that being a Christian is harder than you've ever thought.

Semoga dari pikiran yg gw share di siang ini bisa bikin kita semakin aware and jangan sampe jadi batu sandungan buat orang2 di sekitar kita. By the way, in this case kan gw ngomongin tentang people who are Christian and gw mau bilang juga, jangan sampe kita takut salah gara2 takut sama apa yg bakal orang2 omongin tentang kita tapi kita mesti lebih mikir ke Tuhan itu sendiri kayak yg tadi udah gw mention, "If you are a Christian, remember that people judge your Lord by you".

Sekian post dari gw siang ini. 


Salam potato.




5 comments:

  1. Pertamanya gw pikir tipe darah Lu C cink hahah.. What I usually think like this. If there's a hobo or street kid that gets taken to become a child of a rich person, that kid will hav to change his ways. He must act like a rich person now. He cannot walk in the streets without shoes, he can't rummage the bins, he can't steal for food, etc,etc. why? Well because it will bring shame to his new rich dad. The same as us who become Christians. We are now children of God. So we have to start doing things His way. After what He has done for us (dying on the cross and giving us a chance to be His children), automatically we should be grateful and start pleasing Him through what we do, say, etc in our life. Hope it helps! :)

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  2. It helps mon! Thanks yaa you've helped me a lot today ;)

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  3. Hello Sodara seiman, sy Sudah lama skali ga visit ur blog.. Nicely written reflection there... And whoa sista, that illustration came from me , from my church friend di syd isn't?
    Anyhow i guess being judged and 'Jaim' a.k.a. Ga Jadi batu sandungan is part of carrying the cross. Yes the cross is heavy and even the bible says that it's not going to be easy to be a christian. But there's a joy knowing that we are saved through His death and that's part of our small gratitude . And hopefully we can bring more people to get to know Jesus from our attitude.
    A good personal reminder for me too!! :)

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  4. Oh lollllll it's ipon.... Didn't realize it was u mate :p yeh I think I got that illustration frm u. Makes sense though...

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  5. loves this statement :) "If you are a Christian, remember that people judge your Lord by you".

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