Do You Think I am Fat?

Every third Sunday of the months feels like hell to me because my family has a regular family gathering and it is a must-thing-to-do. Well, I like the idea of keeping all relatives close. But there is one thing that I really hate from family gathering, the same old question that makes me want to get a gun and shoot my brain straight away. Some of my aunties have been asking me ‘so, when will you get a girlfriend?’ question for TEN YEARS! And they started asking me when I was 10 years old. What do they expect from 10 years old boy?! Most of the time, my family gathering is just full of tormenting questions and comments that are repeated over and over again, for example….

“You look fatter now… look at your floppy arms! You should be on diet!”

“You’re so skinny! Why??? Eat more pork!”

 “So, when will you get married?”

“When will you have kids? Oh… only has one? Why don’t you have more kids?”

And… so on. Is that a common thing or it’s just a typical of Asian family gathering? Oh well… only God knows.

Well, now I’m sure my aunties won’t ask ‘so, when will you get a girlfriend?’ question anymore because I do have a girlfriend now, Jill! She is my very first girlfriend and we’ve just been together for two weeks. Last Sunday, Jill joined the family gathering and I was pretty nervous to introduce her in front of the whole family members. I know it’s a bit too fast for us, but I just cannot stand those annoying questions and comments anymore. The first time I introduced Jill to my relatives, they gave the warmest greeting to her. We were chatting, laughing and sharing our happiness together. This family gathering is really worth my time and surprisingly, none of my relatives asked any annoying questions to me or Jill. Maybe they got awe-struck by her beauty and her bubbly personality. After having a delicious feast, Jill and I were going to the backyard and we talked about many wonderful things that happened during the family gathering.

“Mark, thanks for inviting me to your family gathering.  I really enjoy it. Oh… and also, the Roast pork belly! That is the best!”

“Yes, it is! I know that it is so fatty but I don’t care. I think I could eat it until I get heart attack!”

“But… Mark, I feel so guilty. I’ve been eating pork for 4 days in a row. I think I’m gaining weights. But, what do you think? Am I getting fatter though?”

Wait. This is a trap. I heard story about this tricky question before from my cousin. He said if a girl asks this, there is no such thing as perfect answers that make a girl happy. If I said no, she might say that I am a liar. If I said yes, she might say that I am such a heartless jerk. Damn, life is hard. I wish I could play dead now.

“Jill, about that question… Can I answer it later?”

“Why?,” asked Jill suspiciously.

 “I really need to do number two. I think I ate too much. I’ll be back!”

I ran so fast to the toilet, found some inspiration to answer Jill’s question and I decided to give my best shot.

“Jill, sorry for making you wait. So, yeah about your question… You’re perfect in any shape, babe. But if you feel you need to get back in shape, we could jog tomorrow morning near the beach while seeing a beautiful sunrise.”

“What a sweet idea! Thanks Mark, you are the best!”

Phew... Well done, Google. You saved my life. Thanks for helping me to get through this. Typing ‘what to answer about do you think I am fat question’ is kind of silly but it is totally worth it. 

Ultraman

It all happened when I was 6 years old. I did not know what was going on but it seemed like people around me got panicked, especially my parents. In the middle of May 1998, my parents did not allow me to go to school and I was so happy to hear that! I could imagine myself staying at home, running and playing around with my neighbour. But it was far from my expectation. My parents kept telling me and my older brothers to stay in their bedroom and be quiet. The furthest place that we could go to was the bathroom, which is… inside their bedroom. I wondered why we could not go outside and the only thing that crossed my mind was... ‘The monster from Ultraman that I watched yesterday is coming to destroy my city. OH NO!’

There was one time when my parents came to the bedroom and were really angry at me because I was really noisy when I played with my brothers. I asked my parents why they were so angry and they only replied, 'Because you are a girl.' I was really confused and for me, they were just being mean. During that time, I had not seen my older sister for almost one week and every time I asked my parents where my sister was, they said that she was in a hospital. However, I will never forget the look in their teary eyes; terrified and exhausted. I could feel their fear and I was really sure that the monster started attacking some hospitals.

Today is already 10 years since May 1998 and most news on television has been talking about the Riot that happened during that time.  From that moment, I just knew that the May Riot in Indonesia happened due to economic and ethnic Chinese issues. Instead of using the term Tionghua, the term Cina is commonly used to insult Chinese Indonesians. Many victims from the May Riot were Chinese Indonesians; their houses and commercial buildings were burnt down and hundreds of Chinese Indonesians women experienced extreme sexual violence, which was done by Native Indonesians, also called pribumi.

Everything now makes perfect sense. Finally, I understand why my parents were so scared and did not allow me to make any noise at that time. Finally, I understand why my parents were so thrilled when my sister came back from hospital and arrived at home safely. Finally, I understand why my parents are upset every time they hear their children say Cina, instead of Tionghua. And finally, I understand that the monster from Ultraman actually did not attack my city. However, the real monster lives within society and I call it racism. That real monster could destroy people anytime and it will become bigger if people feed it with big portions of revenge and hatred.

I am not an expert, but I think…

The monster would die slowly if people start feeding it with massive portions of mercy.