Lesson Learned

Halo selamat siang.

Beberapa hari ini gw sempet mikirin beberapa hal yg mungkin pernah lo alami atau sekarang sedang lo alami. Contoh:

1. Pernah gak pissed off with someone sampe2 even buat being nice with them aja lo udah males?
2. Pernah gak ngerasa people that pissed you off for some reason suddenly being nice to you?
3. Nah abis itu ngerasa a bit awkward gak what to do? Cos di satu sisi lo tau lo udah males banget deket2 sama mereka but on the other side, lo ngerasa dia udah being nice jadi gak enak ati kalo lo tetep stay away from them and lo juga tetap mau menjaga sila pancasila yg ke-2? Yaitu kemanusiaan yg adil dan beradab (bergaya seperti guru PPKN)
4. Then selama lo temenan deket lagi sama mereka, you feel a bit awkward cos di satu sisi lo berasa muna, berasa bingung, galau, gundah gulana, makan tak menentu. Well itu a bit lebay sih feeling nya. Hahahha.

To be honest gw mau curcol sih, that's what I feel selama ini. Either itu di gereja, sama housemates hygiene freak or in TAFE. Gw sometimes mikir... hmm apa emang gw yg overreact yaa sama what they did? Or kalo bahasanya cowo gue, "Get sweat over the small stuffs". Di satu sisi, gw emang bener2 pissed off banget sama tingkah laku all of them yg bener2 "ajaib". Contoh, siapa yg gak lemes kalo ngeliat temen sekelompok lo pas lagi ngerjain tugas malah skype-an pake iPhone sama cowonya yg berada nan jauh disana? Kalo ada yg bilang itu hal normal sih, gw rasa dunia ini mungkin emang udah diambang kehancuran. Or siapa yg gak lemes kalo liat tong sampah di dalem rumah lo dibungkus glad wrap? HAHAHA tapi ini gw lemes sekaligus pengen ngakak sih tiap ngomongin tragedi tong sampah rumah yg di glad wrap.

On the other hand, kalo gw liat as a big picture, to be honest orang2 yg pissed me off emang still good people and gw juga sempet have a good relationship with them so it's not fair kalo karena 1 kesalahan and gw bener2 gak mau temenan lagi sama mereka. Tapiiiii... kejelekan gw adalah, kalo gw udah ilfil sama one kind of person, there's no way in hell gw mau mikir yg baik2 lagi tentang dia. Pasti bawaannya apa yg tuh orang lakuin salah mulu di mata gw and I know it's not good.

Setelah beberapa hari merenungkan hal ini and sadar bahwa mindset gw buat nge-cap orang selama2nya jelek itu harus diubah, gw belajar satu hal, "Keep being nice to everyone but still remember your past experience and don't be fooled." I don't say harus terus inget2 kesalahan orang sih but kalo mau dibikin ilustrasi, kalo ada orang yg join bisnis bareng lo and let say dia maruk terus ngambil duit lo sampe lo bangkrut gitu, will you still make them as your business partner in the future? Tapi lo juga tau kan, dengan benci sampe mampus sama mereka juga didn't change anything and get your money back.

So itu yg gw maksud. Gw jadi belajar untuk gak ngebenci and mikir kalo mereka really really bad people forever and ever. I know I have to change what I've been thinking as well. Tapi it doesn't mean buat gw gak hati2 sama what they did already and also I don't expect them to become what I'd like them to be. Maybe some people yg udah tau about people that pissed me off and see me become a friend lagi mikir gw muna or whatever. Gw sempet mikir sih, apa gw muna ya? But... this is what I think. Gw tetep temenan but I still keep in mind kalo nih orang misalnyaaaa emang gak merubah their attitude in some "particular" areas.

Yakk so that's all. Just wanna say what I've been thinking lately and melepaskan itu dari otak gw biar gw sedikit lega.

"Everyone has a hot button. Who is pushing yours? While you probably cannot control that person, you CAN control the way you react to them."